I Will Waste My Life

I have had a theme song lately "I Will Waste My Life" by Misty Edwards. You are probably wondering what this has to do with me and Kenya. I will explain soon. The word "waste" in the title will have led your mind wandering to visions of people spending too much time with video games and doing frivolous activities for a lifetime. This is where my mind went when I first heard my worship leader suggest it; why would that be a worship song? However, Misty Edwards has a different implication of "waste" in mind when she sings this song.

Here are the lyrics to the verse:

I will waste my life, I'll be tested and tried

With no regrets inside of me, just to find, I'm at your feet

Let me find I'm at your feet

I'll leave my father's house and I'll leave my mother

I'll leave all I have known and I'll have no other

For the past week, I have been preparing for my trip and saying "goodbye" to friends and family as the reality of leaving for 7 weeks has been soaking in. Being a girl and my mother's daughter, my mind has been traveling to worries beyond my control and my imagination has flown a little too high. What if....

Even without the possibility of these "what if" worries coming true, I am sacrificing things to go on this trip. Sunsets with friends, lying on the grass in the park and cloud watching, rolling down grassy hills, hiking, playing frisbee, time with friends (some bound some leaving in the fall), time with family, making money for college, comforts, safety, etc. I also said goodbye to two dear friends who will be leaving the state this summer as they experience more of what life in Christ has to offer. Yes, I will be missing out on things I am not too enthused to miss.

Chorus:

I am in love with you, there is no cost
I am in love with you, there is no loss
I am in love with you, I want to take your name
I am in love with you, I want to cling to You, Jesus
Just let me cling to you, Jesus

However, I will be gaining so much more! The sacrifices I have mentioned are extremely small compared to the sacrifice Jesus made for us all. I have no right to complain. God has put this trip on my heart for a reason; He has things to teach me. There were many moments when I’ve learned more about myself and who God is this past semester, but He is not finished with me yet. His voice says "go", therefore I am. And I want to go! A new country! A new culture! Obeying this calling from Christ! Learning so many things! Boom baby!

Bridge:

I’ll say goodbye to my father, my mother
I’ll turn my back on every other lover and I’ll press on
Yes, I’ll press on

So that is what I am striving for this summer. To “waste” my summer plans, leaving those I dearly love (even for only 7 weeks) and “press on” because I love my Savior and His purpose for me. This is a big deal even for one summer; it will not be easy at times. I will be stretching myself in ways I never thought and I will have to depend on Christ to hold me up. My ears will have to be attentive to His voice as He guides me on this fantastic opportunity and amazing adventure. I will look forward to telling stories of His faithfulness to this team.